Because You Loved Me

Chapter One

I sat outside the church gripping my brother’s blood-soaked bandana, my gold grill resting heavy in my palm like a loaded weapon. My grills weren’t permanent like Kendall’s. Mine were a choice. And when they were in, somebody was dying. Tonight, they were out. Tonight, my brother was gone. And somehow, instead of riding through the city hunting ghosts, I was parked in front of a God I stopped believing in years ago.

“I told him to wait on me,” I muttered, slamming my fist against the steering wheel.

I’d been dressed in all black, grills in, weaving through traffic to meet Kendall so we could handle business. The city lights blurred past me when my phone rang.

“Yo.”

“Where you at, baby bro?” Kendall’s voice came through the speaker.

“Almost to you.”

“Aight, I’m—what the—”

Gunshots exploded through the phone.

“KENDALL!” I yelled.

Nothing.

I floored the gas, swerving through lanes like my life depended on it—because it did.

“Hold on, bro. I’m coming. Just hold on.”

Kendall was a force on his own. Everybody knew that. But together? We were untouchable.

And whoever thought tonight was the night to test him was about to regret breathing.

“Bro…”

His voice came through weak this time.

“Talk to me,” I said, heart slamming against my ribs. “I’m almost there.”

“Don’t come,” he whispered. “I love you, boy. Do better. Be better.”

My chest cracked open.

“No,” I shouted. “Nah, don’t do this. Don’t leave me.”

But when I pulled up to the spot, I already knew.

His car looked like it had been chewed up by bullets. I jumped out with my gun in hand, running to the driver’s side.

“Kendall…”

Blood covered him. His body slumped unnaturally against the seat.

“No. No. No. Ken… please. You all I got left.”

I collapsed against the door, tears spilling before I could stop them. Sirens echoed in the distance.

I ran.

I ducked off and watched from the shadows as police blocked the area. Watched them pull my brother out. Watched them zip him up.

When the van drove off with his body, something inside me went numb.

And somehow… I ended up here.

Outside a church.

I hadn’t stepped foot inside one in years.

I remembered giving my life to God at sixteen. I had hope back then. My mom and grandma were so proud. They believed I still had a chance, even when they said Kendall was already lost to the streets.

Weeks later, our house caught fire.

I still hear my mama screaming.

I saved my grandma—but not her.

That same church my mother devoted her life to charged us thousands to bury her, even knowing we were homeless and living in a hotel.

After that, my grandma barely spoke.

Six months later, she died too.

That’s when I decided God didn’t love me.

That’s when Kendall and I became monsters together.

I dragged myself back to the present, staring at the church doors.

“God… I don’t even know if You still hear me,” I whispered. “But I got nobody else.”

My hands shook.

“Send me a sign. Anything. And I’ll walk away from this life. But if You don’t…”

My jaw tightened.

“I’m going to find whoever did this to my brother. And I don’t care what it costs.”

I slid my grills back in.

That’s when I hit the car.

Metal crunched.

I barely had time to react before the driver’s door of the other vehicle opened. My hand went to my gun—then stopped.

Long legs stepped out. Heels hit the pavement.

She walked around checking her car, then approached mine. I wiped my face quickly, swallowing everything I was feeling.

She knocked gently.

I rolled my window down, and her floral scent wrapped around me, calming something wild in my chest.

“Hey,” she said softly. “I’m Sage.”

Her smile was warm. Steady.

“It’s not that deep,” I muttered. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“What’s your name?”

“Andre.”

“Well, Andre,” she said, glancing at the church, “where were you headed?”

I hesitated.

“This is my parents’ church,” she added. “We’re having a youth revival tonight.”

She studied me—not scared, not judging.

“Come in with me.”

“I don’t know…”

“Do you know anyone here?”

“No.”

“Then let me be your reason,” she said gently.

For the first time all night… I considered it.

“Give me a minute,” I said.

She smiled and walked away.

I was about to step out when I noticed the blood covering my clothes.

My phone rang.

“Is this Andre Johnson?” a woman asked.

“Yes.”

“This is Officer Nieves. Your brother Kendall Washington was involved in a situation tonight. We need you to come down to the station.”

My chest tightened.

“What kind of situation?”

“It’s best we discuss it in person.”

“I’ll be there.”

I hung up and looked at the church one last time.

At Sage.

I wanted to go in.

But first… I had to survive the night.

I pulled off knowing one thing for sure—

I’d be back.

 

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