Part 4: Bryson and Natalie
When I got up this morning, I was ready to face today with my head held high and a pep in my step. I knew I was going to meet with the lawyer and I was okay with it. But between Bryson attention this morning, hearing what the lawyer had to say and then him being here right now I was utterly torn. I sent Ebony on her way because I didn’t want Bryson to think anything. as she hugged me bye, she whispered in my ear “don’t be stupid.” I nodded my head and then she left.
Once she was gone, I told Bryson that Ebony and I had just come from lunch and I was full. He said that was fine and gave me the flowers and a kiss on my cheek. I closed my eyes as his lips hit my cheek. So many thoughts ran through my mind as a tear slid down my face. Bryson wiped the tear, and as I opened my eyes he smiled at me and said I love you; then he left. When he left, I went into my office and laid on the couch. “God, am I doing the right thing? It seems like Bryson still love me. Maybe I was moving to fast and being too dramatic. All this time our marriage has been fine why should I destroy it now. Or maybe I’m tripping.” I said as I laid on the couch. Everything about today had me confused. I wasn’t even sure anymore if divorcing my husband was something I was doing because I wanted to do it or because Ebony and my sisters told me I could. I was stuck and torn. With my emotions being the way they were all I wanted to do was be alone. I avoided all phone calls and text message and didn’t even leave my office until about 11 pm. when I got home and walked in the light were off. I figured that Bryson was in bed. I went into the dining room dying for a drink, and I saw the candlelight dinner he had set up. I paused and looked at it. I shook my head “this is the man you're going to divorce Natalie.” I said to myself. Then I heard Bryson voice in the living room. I went the doorway and watched Bryson pace in the opposite direction as me with the phone to his ear. “Natalie it's late where are you,” he said. “I’m right here,” I said. He spun around. “where have you been, I been here waiting for you.” He said. I see, and I apologize I was working on a few different things and had my phone on do not disturb. Time which by quicker then I expected, and when I realized what time it was I got in my car and came home. If it's okay, I’d still love to have this dinner with you.” I said to him.
Bryson put his phone down and smile “the food might be cold now but sure.” we went into the dining room, and Bryson pulled out my chair. I sat down and then he took a seat across from me. He pours both of us a glass of wine. “What's all this for?” I asked. Bryson looked at me and said. “as a man sometimes we get to focus on control everything that we forget that our world would not function the way it does without the strong women we have held us up. I wanted to show you some appreciation today. With everything, we have been through these last few weeks that would have broken some women but not you. You expected me for who I was and stuck by me. I know it hurt you, and when you need to hear him say sorry or be there for you I wasn’t, and I apologize for that. But it takes a strong woman to get up after all that and look like you do. Still beautiful still holding your head high and still loving me.” he said. My heart was leaping for joy this was all I ever wanted was for Bryson to realize what I was doing for him, what I was risking and doing to keep us together. “so what does all this mean. I get you to appreciate me but what else Bryson?” I said. “I love you, Natalie. I know it's ideal for a man and a woman, but I can't let go of …” I put my hand up and stopped him. “do say it and ruin the moment. “ I said. “let me say this, I promised to remain still the man you married and loved before all over this came to light. Now that it's in the light I promise not to hide anything else from you. There will be no man or anyone for that matter above you. I love you, Natalie, I want us back to the way we were, truly happy.” I listen to my husband.
we had a great dinner; he showered me with gifts including a new wedding ring. we even slowed danced in the dining room to some of our favorite songs. I honestly felt like this was my confirmation from the lord on what I needed to do. that night for the first time since finding out about Bryson secret life my husband and I made love. He was slow and gentle. gave me time to enjoy every kiss, lick, and stroke he gave me. this was what my mind, my heart, my soul and my body needed. I still loved my husband, and if he was going to respect me, I could deal with his dirt. No one's perfect. A few short weeks later it was time for another sister gathering, and I was glowing. I walked into the gathering feeling like the old Natalie. I greeted everyone and hugged and smiled. Then we started our night. Everyone talked and about what they had going on and the changes that had to happen in their life. Eventually, Joy turned and asked me. “How's everything with you? Your glowing. Did things turn out good with the lawyer?” she asked. “I decided not to go through with it.” from down the table Ebony screamed “what?” I repeated myself. “I decided not to divorce Bryson,” I said confidently. “You let him get to you I told you that day before I left your office not to be stupid,” she said. “I'm not stupid I am doing what best for me and my situation. I still love my husband, and he loves me. That's worth not giving up.” I said. “that man doesn’t love you he playing for stupid. You probably let him fuck you and still fuck that man too.” Ebony said. “why are you so worried about it why not just be happy for me.” I said. “we are happy for you. But we also want you to make sure that you are completely thinking this through.” Joy butted in and said. “I am thinking it through I’m not Y'all I am not built to be starting over or being alone. I have history with this man. Time invest and money. I can’t just walk away. I divorce him and then what I am supposed to go out and date again? Yeah, I’m not doing that I rather stick with my husband and deal with what I know.” I said to him
Ebony got up and came to my end of the table. “you are stronger than you think. But you have to believe it. You don’t have to get out this relationship and hoop into another one or date. you can take your time and heal get to know yourself . become your friend again.” Ebony said. As Ebony said that view of Mark wall in holding hands with another man caught my eye. “Natalie are you listen to me.” Ebony said. “that him”I said. “who?” Ebony said as she turns around and looked and the other girl at the table looked. “Y'all see the two men over at that table. The skinny young looking one is Mark. That's Bryson’s lover.” I said as emotions took over me.
“Do you want to leave?” Joy said. “see he here with another man, he not even faithful and loyal to Bryson so why should you be.” Ebony said. “Do you want me to go choke his little ass out. I can take his little ass.” Tommecca said. Everyone was talking while I was trying to get my mind together. “Natalie” Joy said. “I’m trying to tell you, Natalie,” Ebony said. “bitch what you want to do?” Tommecca said.