Part 4: Adrianna, Brain and Stefan
The ride home was odder than Brian sitting outside my house the night before. The only way i got him to finally take me home was by agreeing to take the ring and truly think about leaving Stefan for him. This shit was crazy I thought you only seen crazy niggas like this in movies and normally they were fucking light skin. Here I was with this dark skin, thugged out teddy bear that clearly didn’t have it all.
Brian played pop smoke all the way to my house and all I did was side-eye him. When we got close I told him to let me out on the side street and I would walk around. As I got ready to get out of the truck Brian grabbed my wrist. “Adrianna, remember I love you. So you really need to be thinking about what we talked about.” he said. “I will,” I said to him trying to rush. “No i'm serious because eventually I will make a decision for you.” He said. “What do you mean by that?” I asked him. “There isn’t one thing that I wanted that I don’t eventually get one way or the other.” Brian said confidently.
“Brian you do realize I am a person and not an item sitting on a shelf that will go to the highest bidder.” I said to him. “ I am very aware of what you are. But clearly you haven’t figured out who I am yet so let me help you out. I live by a code that only the strongest survive. Meaning when you want to be the head nigga in charge you take out any and every body in your way of getting there. Sometimes the way to the top is making sure that there is no one already there or no one competing with you to get there.” I was silent and just looked at him. “What are you saying?” I asked with a thought in mind but I needed Brian to be really clear and direct with me.
“Meaning before i let a nigga I don’t feel deserves you keep having you I will take him out and make that I am the only option you have,” he said. “You’d kill my husband over me?’ I asked. “I’ve done worse over less. And it's not over you but more for what my heart desires,” he said. I just looked at him stuck. Why didn’t I see this side of him before now?
“Okay?” he asked. I just nodded my head completely scared. I could never live with myself knowing that something happened to Stefan because of me. “Now give me a kiss” he requested. I leaned in and kissed me. But with the person, he was showing me now the kiss didn’t even feel the same. I didn’t have the same sparks about him that I had seen before.
I got out of the truck and just before I closed the door. Brian said “Oh yeah and don’t fuck that nigga no more. I’ll see you tonight.” with a smirk on his face. I closed the door and waited for him to pull off. I had really fucked up now. As I walked to the house all I could think was that I needed to come clean with Stefan. Tell him everything from me sexually not being happy and that leading me to sleep with Brian. To Brian proposing and now threatening to kill him. “Shit I can’t tell him that he will walk out on me and our marriage will be over. But how can I blame him if the shoe was on the other foot I would leave him and let him marry the crazy bitch since she was important enough to be sneaking around with.'' I said out loud to myself.
I was stuck on what to do. Maybe I could go on this ride with him tonight. He always made it clear that if i ever wanted to keep him company I was more than welcomed to. That way he at least knew I was safe. But shit at this point if I was with him at least I knew he was safe.
I walked into the house and it was silent. “Stefan baby?” i said as I took off my shoes. There was a note waiting on the table where we put our keys with my name on it. I opened it and read it. Sometimes I don't feel like I give you enough and today I don't want to leave without satisfying your mind, body, and soul. Get undressed and meet me in the bathroom. I sat the note back down and walked through the house. I got to the bathroom and the door was closed. I undressed right there in the hallway and then walked in.
Stefan was sitting on the edge of the table smiling at me with a fruit tray sitting on his lap. I looked around the bathroom. There were candles lit on the sink and around the table and the tub was filled with rose petals. “Welcome home.” Stefan said. “Good morning.” I said smiling at him and then kissing him when I got closer. “You're so beautiful when you're naked.” Stefan said. I started to blush. “I don’t just mean that when you are naked physically. But marriage is about being naked mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually and I can honestly say I’ve seen you naked in all those ways and never more have you lost any beauty to me.” he said.
This is what kept me with Stefan; he was so passionate about his words. He was thinking. Very part of his life he had thought out and planned. And now we were here. “What's all this?” I asked him. “You read my note. I want to cater to you, babe. Sometimes my schedule gets so busy that I forget to give you ALL of me. But today I'm making it my business that before I walk out that door for work I am giving you everything I got. So hope in.” he said. I smiled and kissed him again. “Are you getting in with me?” I asked as I stood in the tube preparing to sit down. Only if you want me to,” he responded.
I shook my head, yes and Stefan placed the fruit tray on the sink and joined me. As we sat in the tube Stefan gently washed my body. “So what's on your mind?” Stefan asked. “nothing “ I answered quickly. “Bae what's on your mind? We don’t really talk, and I know that bothers you because your communicator. So tell me what's on your mind? how do you feel about me going back on the road tonight?” he said. “I really miss you when you're not here. There's no one to hold me. No one for me to cook for. Some days I don't even feel like i’m a wife.” I said to him. “But you understand that I’m not her for us right because I want the best for us.” he asked. “Yes but it's just how I feel. My mind knows that you love me and are doing everything you can to give us a better life. But the woman in me wants to be selfish and have you here with me all the time to love on you.” I said.
I could feel Stefan nodding his head behind me. “Well I never want to disappoint that woman that's inside of you so what can I do to make it better.” he asked. “I dont know.” I said. “Think about it, there has to be something. Do you want me to cut back on hours?” he asked. “No because then it will be my fault for it taking longer for us to reach the goals we had in mind.” I said. “I will never fault you for asking me to make a change because it bothers how you feel. I love you. You are my world and how you feel matters to me. There is nothing you can say or do for that matter that will ever change that.” He said.
As I laid in my husband's arms I had a mental battle with myself about telling him everything in that every moment about Brian. All of the love he was showing me right now had me dying on the inside about what I had been doing with Brian. My husband wasn’t perfect and neither was I but he knew me. And he was here trying and that meant the world to me.
After a while the warmth got cold and we got out. Stefan instructed me to go into the bedroom and lay across the bed. I looked at him and he just repeated himself. “Go in the room, lay across the I will be in to handle everything else.” I walked in and the curtains were close, keeping the room dark beside the candles that Stefan and relit that I had on last night. There was another note on the bed. The bath relaxes your mind and gives you an open space to speak to me freely. Now in the bedroom, I plan to cater to your body and leave with your soul.
I laid across the bed and noticed the massage oils on the nightstand. Stefan came in with a towel wrapped around his waist. He picked up a bottle off the nightstand then sat on the bed. He made sure that my body as a whole was dry and then started at my feet massaging my whole body. The feeling of his hands rubbing on me in this way was better than sex.
As Stefan worked his way up my body he missed not one spot. He massaged my feet, my legs, my thighs, even my breast. He got to my neck and then stopped. Roll over, he said softly. I rolled over and he started back at my feet and this time worked his way up my backside. When he got to my neck this time he kissed it and sent a tingle through my body that I had never felt with him. Then he whispered into my ear “what do you want next?” “it doesn't matter,” I told him. “Yes it does I want you to tell me how to please you. Step by step.” he said in a really seductive voice in between kissing on my back. This had to be some type of evil joke from god because how was I supposed to tell him now about Brian when he was doing all this.