Part 3 dawn and Micha

Nothing was scarier than the way I was currently feeling. I was laying in bed next to this man and no matter how much I tried not to go to that crazy place in my head I did and I desired nothing more than to take Micha last breath with my own two hands. And I was sure if I put my mind to it I could because my anger was damn near in an uncontrollable state and I was fighting to hold on to control.
After hearing Micha on the phone earlier talking to this mystery woman I went back into the bathroom. I stood there feeling like there was a weight on my chest and I couldn't breathe. I didn't fear being cheated on in my head every nigga fucked around on his bitch. It came with being in a relationship. And because men didn't attach sex to their emotions it happened more frequently.
I didn't even fear death. I felt like came with the drug game I put myself in. You could get killed by accident or on purpose but that was the risk we agreed to take.
What I feared was having nothing. I had been there and done that. I had been homeless sleeping from couch to couch.. not being able to feed myself. But still managing to not look like what i was going through. When I leveled up from that point in my life I vowed I would never go back there so I worked my ass off every day whether it was doing legal or illegal activities to ensure it didn't happen.
I got in the shower and let my tears blend in with the water. When I fell in love I knew I was putting myself in a position that I was going to be venerable to him. Which gave the risk of him hurting me and breaking my trust in people more. But I thought Micha was a good dude he would never do that to me.
This all had my mental fucked up. I was barely able to wash because I was shaking with anger. I thought about all I had to lose, not just money but my shop, my home, the car, my reputation. I had worked too hard for it all and I had let Micha just tag along and now he thought he was going to get me for it all. The difference between me and him was I never needed him I wanted him. And now that I didn't want him anymore he should be fear of what my mind wanted to see happen to him. My foolish heart was now shut down and not running shit. I was the sole reason for everything Micha had once he kept his parent's house and why the street respected him the way they did.
When I got out of the shower Micha was still downstairs. I went into the bedroom sat on the edge of the bed and text Russlle that I needed to meet with him asap. He texted me back quickly and told me no problem pull up on him tomorrow. I put my phone back on the nightstand. I could hear Micha downstairs laughing at something on TV. I shook my head as I dried off then I lotion my body while trying to control my thoughts before this house became a homicide scene. When I was done and my pajamas were on I got into bed and tried to force myself to sleep.
But my mind wouldn't let me rest. So I laid there looking at the walls until I heard Micha coming up the stairs. He got in the bed with me and started to kiss on me. Then I heard him whisper in my ear and ask was I awoke. I said nothing and I pretended to be asleep. Even though the smell of him and the feeling of him touching my body was making me sick and my stomach crawl. Finally, the kissing and touching stopped, and about twenty minutes later the room filled with the sound of him snoring. His dumb ass laid there peacefully not even knowing he had fucked up or how much danger he was in.
I sat up in bed and looked at him with the same look snoop dog gave Tyrese in a baby boy before shooting at him. I was sitting there wondering how long would I have to hold a pillow over Micha's face before he stopped moving.
The crazy part was I made it clear to everyone that I was a loving person and would give the shirt off my back to anyone as long as you didn't cross me because then you would hate the bitch I come. Somehow Micha must have forgotten this or thought it was a joke; because out of all people he shouldn't have done this to me. That nigga owed me. He owed me damn near everything he had on top of love, respect, and fucking loyalty.
The longer I sat there looking at him the tighter my jaw got and the madder I became. I grabbed my pillow. And I sat for a moment tempted to put it over his face. Then I decided to just go sleep on the couch. As I pulled the covers back to get out of bed I heard Micha moan out "chanel" in his sleep. I paused and turned and looked at him. "Did he just…" I said to myself. I shook my head I had to be bugging out because I damn well this fool hadn't called out another woman's name.
I got out of bed and Micha spoke again "to hell with her, I'm a take it all… I love you chanel… its almost our time." That was it. My temper hit a thousand. I walked over to the closet and slowly opened it. I looked for my black replica Louie purse as I cussed in my head.
I hadn't been this mad or hurt since my mom's boyfriend Tim tried to rape me and she didn't believe me when j told her. That day fucked up my life but created a survivor in me. It ended with me putting a knife through Tim's hand that way if he ever decided to touch another girl he would think of me. My mom put me out and I became homeless.
I finally found the purse I was searching for. I reached in it and pulled out the all-black Glock 26 I had stored inside. It had been a while since I held my own gun. I had gotten Micha his just so I could avoid using mine.
I checked to see how many bullets I had inside then I looked over at Micha and walked over to the bed. This nigga was a piece of shit I thought to myself as I stood over him. I aimed the gun at him and started to lower it to his head. But before the cold metal could touch him and wake him up my hand started to shake. I put my other hand on the gun trying to steady it but that one was shaking too. I wanted to pull the trigger and put every last bullet in this gun in him. I felt like I needed to do this. But I couldn't.
A tear rolled down my face and I lowered the gun to my side. I put one hand over my mouth so he wouldn't hear me cry as I turned and exited the room. I went downstairs grabbed my purse and stuff the gun in it before grabbing the keys and leaving.

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