Part 3: Cashis and Lonnie

Shawna and i sat in the parking lot of CVS for while. She held me and let me cry my eyes out. “That so fucked up he did this shit to you. After all, he has put you through. Now your not even gonna feel safe in your own home. You know i got a cousin Booboo that will shoop Lonnie ass for $40. And if that an enough my cousin Pookie will make that nigga go missing for $1,000.” Shawna said. I laughed a little. “Good to see he didn’t kill your sense of humor.” she said “yeah but he killed something inside of me.” i told her. ‘I bet he did. Shit just ain't right these sick mutha fucker I swear. That offer for my cousins to take care of his ass might seem funny but i was dead ass serious,” she said to me. “I know you are that's why I laughed but no matter how bad he makes me feel i don't want to see him hurt you know,” i said to him. Can’t relate boo I play tit for tat but hey to each their own.”
I sat up straight and wiped my face “cashis let me tell you something don’t let that nigga take your joy. He might have got the upper hand on you last night and you might be scarred from it. But you dont have to keep letting him. We as women fuck upwhen we let these confused as men try to control our lives. They dont want relationships but dont want to see us move on with someone else that wants to give us all the love we are asking for.” she said. “You damn sure got that right. Lonnie said it him self that we weren’t in a relationship but yet i go on one date and now the nigga wants me to be the mother of his child.” i said to her. “Nw that some fucked up shit who the fuck wants to have a baby by someone that raped them. That's that confused little boy shit. And you are too damn independent for that. Fuck that nigga. Shit he need you you dont need him. There are niggas that will take lonnies last breath from his body just to be with you. Hell do you even love him?”
“I honestly don't know. I thought I did when I really wanted him but seeing him and his true colors that line of love and hate got real blurred. I don't even want love at this appoint I just want my peace and happiness back.” i said to her. “And you deserve it,” she said. “Thank you,” i responded. “No need to thank me. Just promise me one thing that you will get the hell out of this situation. Because everything I'm telling you is what i wish someone would have told me before i gave my all to a nigga for three years before realizing i didn’t love him and i was miserable but i got comfortable with him being around even though everything was about him and I was dying inside while settling to keep him satisfied.
I looked at Shawna and smiled. “I needed this talk.” i told her. Not having a mom or any siblings left me alone with no one to talk to. “Sometimes we all need a girlfriend to fill us back up when out cup is empty.” Shawna told me. I looked at the test. “Listen if you are going to take the pill do it. There is no judgement. That baby wouldn’t have been made out of love and you would always have ill feelings towards it.” Shawna said as she opened the water and handed me the pill.
I looked at her and then back at the pill for a while. Then i opened the pill shoved it in my mouth and took the water from Shawna. “You ready for work now? Because we late girl.” Shawna said. “Yup lets go.” i told her pushing a smile through.
We got to work and it was just peaceful knowing that I was somewhere that Lonnie could not get to me and make my life any worse than he already had for the next few hours. As i sat at my desk working i got a tap on my shoulder and almost jumped out of my skin. I spun around and Marlon was smiling at me with flowers. “You look beautiful today,” he said. I blushed as i said thank you and smiled. I peeked at Shawna out the corner of my eyes Shawna was standing up at her desk trying to see what was going on at mine. “I texted you last night; did you get it?” he asked. “I got it this morning. I was so tired from all the fun we had that i kicked off those heels, showered and got into bed.” i told him. “Oh okay understandable. Well im off at 7:30 today maybe when work is over i can walk you out and we can possibly discuss our next date?” Marlon said. “I’d like that,” i said smiling.
“Good me too. So i’ll see you as soon as i clock out.” he told me before leaving my desk. I turned back to my computer screen and smiled as i smelled the flowers Marlon had just given me. As i placed the flowers in the corner of my desk an instant message came in from Shawna i see you over there sis. I laughed and typed lol back to her.
For the rest of the day, I watched the clock. No longer dreading going home but waiting patiently at 7:30 just to see Marlon handsome face, or smell him. When it was finally time to clock out i already had my purse and stuff ready that way Marlon wouldn’t have to wait on me. He came over to my desk and pulled out the chair for me to stand up. I grabbed my flowers and purse and we walked to the front door. Shawna passed us on her way out and told me to take my time she was going to be in the car smoking.
As Marlon held the door open for me he said “so i was thinking that we can do a picnic that way we can talk and get to know each other more.” “that sounds like a great idea I’m a really good cook so i can make us something good to enjoy.” i told him. As i finished my sentence i heard my name being screamed ‘yo Cashis” Lonnie kept saying over and over again. I slowly turned around and there he was sitting on the hood of my car in my job parking lot. “You know him Cashis?” Marlon asked. I didn’t answer because I was so busy starring at Lonnie.
“Cashis?” Marlon said, “yeah he my roommate.” Shawna must have pepped hat was going on from her car because she came zooming up. “Cash get in the car. You dont need to make no damn scene at your job out here with this dummy.” i nodded my head to let her know I heard her but I couldn’t take my eyes off Lonnie. “Let me help you in the car.” Marlon said as he walked me around the car to the passenger side.
As i got into the car i heard footsteps getting closer. “Cashis you dont hear me calling you? Why you getting in this car and Im parked right over there” Lonnie said. I didn’t answer. “Cash just get in the car.” Shawna said. “Yeah get in the car” Marlon agreed standing between me and Lonnie. “Yo homie can you step aside so I can talk to my bitch?” Lonnie said “Well frist off she’s not a bitch. And with all due respect she doesn’t seem to wan to talk so lets just let her get in the car and leave.” Marlon said. Lonnie looked Marlon up and down and then straight in the face. “Yeah okay.” he said trying to get past him to me. But Marlon blocked him.
“Yo Cashis tell you, little bodyguard, to move before I move him.” Lonnie said, “I’m not scared at all but if you bad please try it.” Marlon said. Lonnie, please don’t do this not at my job.” i said to him. “Cashis don't worry about it,” Marlon said as he passed me my flowers. “Cash you got mutha fucker buying you flowers now,” Lonnie said in a sarcastic voice. “Not mutha fuckas just me,” Marlon said with this look of anger on his face. “Cashis who is this little nigga. Is this who took you out on that little date thing last night.” Lonnie asked. “Lonnie please don’t” I pleaded “my name is Marlon and yes I did take her out last night. What's it to you?” Marlon said. Now with his back to me and facing Lonnie. “Cash let your little friend know I’m not talking to him and this ain’t who he wants it with,” Lonnie said. “Marlon,” I said. “Nah Cashis it's okay. I'm trying to understand why you keep talking to her i regards to me when at this point I'm talking to you face to face. I would say man to man but I doubt one of us fit that description.”Marlon said.
Lonnie looked Marlon in the face and said “because talking to you will make me mad and you dont want to see me when im mad.” Marlon smiled “that tough stuff aint moving nobody. Maybe if you stopped fronting dog she’d respond to you.” Marlon said. “Front? Nigga i aint got to front about shit you want what i got clearly.” Lonnie said, “what do you have?” Marlon asked. “Her” Lonnie responded with a smirk. “Dont think so bro see she neer brought you up last night when i had her smiling or when we were just planning our net date.” Marlon said smirking back at him. “Oh yeah?” Lonnie asked and I could tell this was about to go left. “Yeah,” Marlon said nodding his head. Lonnie punched Marlon and he stumbled a little. I screamed Marlon's name as I tried to get out of the car and Shawna grabbed me “dont you jump your ass into them grown as men fight.” i looked as Marln got his balance and Lonnie stood there smiling as he had won. Marlon wiped his lip that was sledding and it was like a movie as I watched him punch Lonnie so hard he landed on his back. “Go ahead and get out of here.” Melon said as he turned to me and Shawna and wiped his lip again and looked at Lonnie laying on the ground behind him.