Part 2: Yasir and Yasin
I was way past pissed when Yasin dropped me off. I left like my heart was going to beat out my damn chest, I didn't like shit like that killing was not normal no matter how mad the person made you. I knew my brother was only doing what my mother told him to do but I still felt some type of way towards him. I wanted him and my mom to let me live my life my damn way. Let me get my degree, have my girl, and live a crime-free life that didn't involve looking over my shoulders.
I wasn't sure if it was just the mood I was in or what but it seemed cold tonight. I looked down to zip up my hoodie and noticed the blood on my shirt. Thank god it was dark out already and no one was out walking around. I zipped my hoodie up. Put my hood on and walked quickly to my dorm before anyone saw me and stopped me to talk.
As I walked to my room my mind was racing. I was actually a killer now. This was exactly why I wanted out. This life would destroy me. If not physically definitely mentally. I walked and my hands got cold. I stuck them in my pocket and was greeted by the metal of my gun. "Fuck!" I said out loud and my speedy walk turned into a full-blown run.
I had fucked up majorly. I was supposed to leave my gun with Yasir. It was the agreement. Although I wasn't a shooter anytime we went to handle business I carried it. So he would just bring it when he came to get me. The last thing I needed was to get kicked out of school because they find a gun when they do random dorm inspections. Getting kicked out would lead me right to where my mom wanted me. And that thought of that was horrible. But what would be worse was Naomi to find it. I had done great so far in hiding that part of my life from her and I wanted it to stay that way.
I got to my dorm room and quickly took off the hoodie and shirt I had on. I took the gun from my hoodie pocket and looked at it. for 3 years I had carried this same gun and none had a body on it. Yasir swore up and body the first body he got made him feel like a man but this shit made me feel fucked up inside. I tried to figure out what to do with this stuff and then I saw my gym bag on my bed. I knew Naomi hated the smell of any gym clothes so she would go near the bag. And searching our bags was not a part of room inspections. So I was cool for now. But the quicker I got this shit back to Yasir the better. I stuffed the bag in the back of my closet.
I pulled my phone out of my jeans pocket and called my brother. The phone rang and rang. So I figured he was on the phone with mommy giving her a play by play of what happened, or his ghetto girlfriend Airy had him tied up on the phone cussing him out for something, or he was smoking and vibing to the music and it was too loud to hear the phone. I hung up and texted him. Yo, you need to pull back up on me ASAP. I typed then sent.
I put my phone on my desk and gathered some stuff to take a shower before Naomi got here. As I gathered my stuff my phone started the ring. I picked it up and saw my mom's name and face. "Hello," I answer. "Hello, there son.' She said cheerfully. "Hi momma" I responded. “How are you?” she asked. I instantly bothered because I felt like she was being funny. “You know I’m not good.” I said, raising my voice. “Lower your tone when you speak to me. And why aren't you good,” she asked real sarcastically. “I’m calling you from the other phone,” I told her angry, and then hung up.
I went to my desk and searched in my draw for my burner phone. I turned it on and dialed my mom’s burner. Her answer still sounded cheerful. “Yes?” “mom why would you have Yasir force me to do that?” I asked her. “It was your time.” she said as if there was nothing wrong with what i did. “No it wasn’t! You know that not me.” I said to her. “Yes it was. I know you. I gave birth to you. I need to know that when I leave the game both of my sons will keep everything about my business running smoothly that what I have been preparing y'all for.” she said to me.
“But that's not a part of who I am or who I am trying to be. You have Yasir to run the family business. He is ready for that and wants to do it. He is everything that you are trying to force me to be and more.” I pleaded to her. “I know what's best for you and I know who you are. You just haven’t been pushed yet to see your true potential but you will,” she said. “I’m not doing anything else like that mom. I can’t handle that in my heart.” I said to her. “You will do as I say when I say since it's my money paying for that school you're at.” she said, raising her voice.”
“But momma….” I said to her and she stopped me. “No buts” I was silent. “Now do you have any special requests for dinner on sunday?” she asked me as if that went with the conversation we were just having. “Just yams and mac n cheese,” I said, sounding sad. “Cool that's what my baby wants, that's what I will make. Will Noami be joining us?” my mom responded. “Noshe has church and then dinner with her own family to attend.” I answered quickly.
“Well we must meet this mystery girl sooner or later. I really want to be able to put a name with the name of the girl who has my son wanting to change up on everything he knows.” she said.
“Ma Naomi hasn’t made me change anything she helped me become better.” I told her. “Mmhm son, I'm old school and I’m a woman. I know the power that the pussy beholds.” she said “ma” i said “i'm just saying but it's okay. You can hide her forever. And when I do meet her I'm sure I’ll like her anyways.” my mom said. “Mom I gotta go, I need to shower.” i said rushing her off the phone because at this point I was over it. “I love you son and I will see you sunday.” she said. “Love you too mom and if you see yasir or speak to him please tell him to pull back up on me. I didn’t leave my package with him.” i said
My mom told me, okay and then we hung up. I know it was wrong but the more my mom tried to tie me to this life I wanted nothing to do with the more I hated her and Yasir. Her exact words when we were on the phone was the very reason why I didn't bring Noami around. Noami was a church-going girl. Her parents were still married. They didn’t drink or cuss. And smoking to them was the cigar her dad had on Sundays that her mom complained around. They sent her to school to better her life and loved me because of the man I showed them I was and not the monster my mom wanted me to be.
But to my mom, Noami was at fault for not wanting to be a part of the family business. But truth be told I didn’t want anything to do with this life way before I met Noami freshmen year. Going to school was my way of running away. But even when I'm on campus and refuse to answer Yasir or my mom's calls, all it does is trigger my mom to send Yasir to the school on a manhunt to find me.
Little did she know the time was coming. I was going to put my foot down and tell her I was out of the family business and there was going to be nothing she could say or do to change my mind. That's why I pushed for her to send me to college because I knew when it happened. My mom would disown me. And it would be her and Yasir against me. All I could have was my education to fall back on.