Part 2: Paris:
It was my senior year and I should have been looking into what colleges I was going to be attending in the fall. I should have been prom shopping, taking senior pictures and living it up. But instead, I spent most of my time wishing that the lord would just go ahead and take me out my misery. I had left home for a better life but now I was a punching bag, maid and the zookeeper. The fairytales said that love was a painless guess that how you realized that shit hurt because love was painful as a mother fucker.
Seems like I could decide what was worse the mental pain or the physical pain. I had made it through my morning beating and Monty was off to work. I stood in the bathroom cleaning my busted lip. “How did I get here. who would have thought that the girl that everyone said was so beauty would lose her beauty to love? I’d be better off ending it all. Just take these pills and I could be at peace.” I said looking at myself in the mirror. As I sat there staring at myself in the mirror there was a knock at the door. I walked out of the bathroom and went to the door and looked through the peek hole. I shook my head because it was Tawanda and I was in no mood to deal with her right now. I backed away from the door, then I heard Tawanda start yelling. “Paris I’m not leaving to you open this door. I know you in there. Open up or you're going to have some pissed off neighbors.”
I cracked the door “hey girl what's up?” I said from behind the door not showing my face. “Paris why you hiding behind the door. Open up and let me come in,” she said trying to push the door open. “Monty doesn’t like people in the house. Text me though.” I said in a rush and closing the door. Tawanda started banging again “Paris, Paris, Paris” she screamed. I opened the door a little to tell Tawanda to go away and she pushed the door open. “Paris what the hell is going on? you haven’t been to school all week. And have you at least call you dad? Did you know he’s sick” she fussed from behind me until I turned around and looked at her. “what the fuck Paris? So this why you been missing school because of you in here letting Monty bitch ass beat on you. I’m about to call my brothers right now tow beat his bitch ass.” Tawanda said pulling out her phone.
I grabbed her phone. “Tawanda stop.” I said. “what the hell you mean stop Paris look at your damn face. his ass a bitch if he hitting you like this and my brother ain’t got no problem beating his bitch ass. you know my brothers is your brother.” I stopped Tawanda while she was talking. “Tawanda please just stop not today,” I said. “Stop what Paris? Stop caring about you? Clearly, someone needs to care about you because you're not thinking straight. you in here letting this boy do whatever he wants to you for what, so that you can say you have someone that loves you? this is crazy and it's going to kill you. Ever since your mom left you have been doing stuff that you know is wrong Paris come on now.” she said to me. “An I didn’t ask you to come over, I didn’t ask you to call your brothers and I damn sure didn’t ask you to care,” I said.
Tawanda looked at me confused “you sound stupid. when people genuinely care about them you don't have to tell them to do anything, they do it cause they care.” Tawanda yells. “ it's my life I can do what I want.” I said to her. “Really, Paris what is going on with you? You didn’t start acting like this to your mom left last year.” Tawanda said. I looked her up and down. “why the fuck do you keep bring mom she has nothing to do with this shit. she left so fucking what, I’m not thinking of her just like she wasn’t thinking of me before she walked out that day.” I told her. “then why are you here Paris why are you going through all of this?” Tawanda asked me. “because being here is better than being under the roof of my homosexual dad.”
Tawanda shot her hands up in the air. “oh my god Paris I love you but get the fuck over it. Roam has it that your dad is gay and your mom left because of it. So what that can’t keep being what you use as an excuse.” Tawanda said. “It's not an excuse the only person that loves me left me and it was because of a man that never show either of us love. and the fact of the matter is that he probably couldn’t love us because we were his fake life, he really was loving dudes. So don’t you dare try to tell me to get over it. I am here because this is better than the love I seen experienced before me every day. At least my man says he loves me every day.” I told her. “So he tells you he loves you before or after he blacks your eyes. your excuse for being here is dumb. you're smart enough to know you deserve better than this.” Tawanda said.
“listen yo don’t understand what I was going through at my dad’s and how unhappy I was,” I told her. “But at least when you were there you didn’t look like death walking like you do here. we are teenagers did you forget that. you are so busy trying to play house with this boy and keep him happy when he hasn’t any ring on your fingers and he’s really not your responsibility. At least you knew no matter what your father wanted the best for you. you are his flesh and blood.” Tawanda said back. I giggled at what Tawanda was saying “he wanted the best for me? relly? you strongly believe that? So when he slapped me what was that?” I asked. Tawanda looked frustrated and said, “Paris stop the shit not everything is meant for a come back just listen to me and understand I am right…” “your right about what? my dad?” I said. “yes! your dad loves you, provided for you, giving you the best…” I interrupted her “But..” she stopped me “But what Paris. you and these damn excuses. your damn life with your dad wasn’t that fucking bad so stop it. Shit at least your father doesn't touch you as mine does.” Tawanda said looking at me.
I looked at Tawanda completely shocked by what she had just said. We had been best friends since diapers and had told each other everything and not once. had she told me about this. “Tawanda your dad touches you? why didn’t you tell me this before?” I said to her. “when was the right time to say something like that? when we playing in the sandbox or when you already had stuff going on?” she said. “any time. you could have said something at any time. we are best friends for a reason. Just because I am going through something doesn’t mean I can’t be there for you as well.” I said to her. “just seemed like one of us had to be strong and it had been my secret for so long that it did not matter so I tucked it further in the back of my head to the point where at night when he comes in my room I can totally block him out while he’s inside of me.” she said
I grabbed my best friend and hugged her tightly. “let me be strong for you right now.” I said to her. “you don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to tell you that and free myself from that dark secret.” Tawanda said as I felt her tear hitting my shoulder.” we went over to the couch and sat down and I took a tissue off the coffee table and wiped her face. “why are you there? why let him keep doing this to you?” I asked her. “why leave? to be like you? In a worse situation with a worse monster than my current one? at least I know that with my dad he already took my virginity there is nothing more he can take from me.” Tawanda said. “Tawanda he’staking your peace of mind. you can even sleep without him coming in your room. you need to get out of that situation for real.” I said to her. “ it's easy to be on the outside looking in giving advice but its not as easy to take it.
I sat there in silence thinking about what she had just said. then I heard keys unlocking the door. I turned and looked at the cable box to see what time it was. “shit what is he doing here at this time?” I said out loud. Tawanda looked at me and said “Paris you can’t live like this, in a panic and scared when he comes home.” as she said that Monty appeared in the living room doorway. “what the hell is she doing in my house Paris?” he asked. “she has a name and I can go where ever my best friend is.” Tawanda said with an attitude and rolling her neck.
I put my hand on Tawandas shoulder and shook my head. “Please just live.” I plead with her. “Come with me. Paris you are so beautiful you can so so much better than this clown.” Tawanda said to me. “Clown? Paris gets this bitch out my house before I beat your ass and her’s.” Monty said, Tawanda stood up and stood toe to toe with Monty “you hit this bitch and I’ll be the last bitch you ever hit you pitiful excuse for a man” she said. Monty looked past her over at me. “she doesn’t know who she talking to so you better get your little friend.” he said I tried to pull Tawanda and she pulled away from me still standing her ground. “ I know exactly who I am talking to I am talking to a little boy that's pretending to be a man. But can’t control his feelings and is acting out because he can’t follow his dream.” Tawanda said.
Before I knew it Monty slapped Tawanda and I watched the spit fly from her mouth as she landed on the couch. I stood in front of Tawanda trying to guard her. “Monty that not cool,” I scream. “I’m your man you suppose to be on my side. Not that bitch side and she trying to break us up. Where the fuck is your head at.” Monty yelled. “My head is starting to become clear and see you for who you are. that where my head is and you are dead ass wr…” in the middle of me talking Monty punch me and I fell to the ground. As I looked up I seen Tawanda pull herself together on the couch as she stood back to her feet she grabbed the lamp from the in-table and hit Monty with it. The lamp shatter and Monty hit the floor.
I crawled on the floor over to him. “baby says something. talk to me.” I said as I held his head. “Paris let go while he is out.” Tawanda said. “why you do that to him?” I said to her with tears in my eyes. “Paris get ya ass up off this floor. I am trying to save you now let's go before he wakes up and kills me and you.” Paris dragged me out of the house as I still looked back at Monty.