Part 2: Natalie and Bryson

“Nat… Nat baby… Natalie…” I heard Bryson screaming as he was coming upstairs. I laid in bed and rolled my eyes I didn’t even bother to answer him. He came into our bedroom, and I took another shot of the jack daniels I had. “really another day of drinking? Are you not going to get out of bed? Did you get a shower today? Bryson asked me. “does it matter?” I said back to him.  “yes it matters your in here in bed all day because of what?” he said. “actually I got out of bed today because I ran out of jack daniels and had to to go get another bottle.” I said then took another shot. “you really need to pull it together Mark is coming over tonight.” Bryson said, “that has nothing to do with me that's your man, not mine.” I said to him.

   Bryson looked at me and then went over to the closet. “no matter what he is to us no one needs to enter our home and see you like this. you are a life coach, you need to pull yourself together” Bryson said. “fuck you my shit is together I can do what I want and if laying in bed and drinking is what I want to do so be it.” I said “your pitiful your sitting here acting so depressed and like your the victim when you had and still have the option to leave if you are that unhappy. “Bryson said as he changed his shirt. I took another shot and said nothing. Bryson walked over to the door and stood in the doorway and just looked at me. “get it together Natalie or just leave I don't need the negative energy.” he said. “leave me alone! Get the hell out and close my room door. I ’m not going anywhere and let you get all my stuff I worked hard for. you are going to suck it up and deal with me the same way I am dealing with your mess.” I said to him. Bryson looked like he was about to say something but there was a knock at the door. “your boo here.” I said looking at Bryson. He rolled his eyes like the bitch I now thought he was and turned to leave “close my door” I said Bryson walked away leaving the door opened.

   I heard the door open and then close. After some time I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Because our bed was directly in front of our bedroom door I was able to see when Bryson came upstairs with two wine glasses and a bottle of wine. He and his guest went into the guest room and closed the door. Just the sight of them together and the thought of what they were doing made me sick to my stomach, I hopped out the bed and ran into the bathroom and threw up. As I sat on the floor of my bathroom with so many different emotions, I said to myself “Damn Natalie look at yourself. You are falling apart all over a man.  how the fuck did you get here?” I replied asking myself. I pulled myself up off the floor and went and crawled back into bed with the bottle of jack daniels. It seemed like the louder they got, the more I took that bottle to the head. Until I eventually drunk myself to sleep.

   I was awoken the next morning to the sound of someone knocking at the door and my head ringing. : Bryson get the door.” I yelled, but there was no response after a while I got out of bed hungover and all. Before going downstairs, i stopped at the guest room. There was no sign of Bryson or Mark. The bed was made, and the room looked like no one had ever been in it. I went downstairs to the door. “who is it?” I said sounding like someones’ momma. “ it's me.” the person said. When I opened the door, there was my sorority sisters: Nicole, TOmecca, Joy, Mercedes and even Ebony standing on my doorstep.

“what are y'all doing here?’ I asked looking at them. “we are sisters Natalie and after your outburst at the last monthly gathering and then no one hearing from you, we decided to do what sisters do and come check on you.” Joy said, “that's nice of you guys as you see I’m alive and okay.” I said, “Natalie i know you like to seem perfect honey, but you are not okay.” Nicole said. “its written all over your face and we can smell the alcohol coming through your pores.” tomecca said. “so are you going to let us in so we can be here for you.” Joy said. “I'm fine guys believe me,” I said to them. Ebony pushed to the front and grabbed me and gave me the tightest hug. The more I tried to fight back the tears the more they started to run down my face. Ebony said nothing she just held me and let me cry. When I finally stopped crying and pulled myself together and wiped my face and said thank you. “don’t thank me as evil as I may seem the one thing I know is hurt from a man. When my baby daddy left me, I was so busy being strong for my son that I wish to this day that someone would have hugged me and just let me cry, “ Ebony said. I backed up from the door and told them “COme in.” They came in, and we all sat in the living room. Mercedes broke the silence and whispered, “Is he here?” I shook my head and said “no.” “oh okay well tell us what's going on them.” Mercedes said in her normal voice. “well the night I left y'all early and came home I found Bryson in our bedroom letting a dude suck his dick.” I said “you lying,” Nicole said in surprise. “ I wish I was”I told them. I made my presence known. But the part that got me was that he was really trying to get me to believe he wasn’t gay, but in the same breath was telling me that he wasn't going to leave this man alone.” I said  “he gay.” Ebony said “yup gay,” everyone else in the room said,

then the room got silent. But it wasn’t too long before Joy broke the silence “so why are you still here?” she said. “because everything I have Bryson is tied to someway, and he told me if I leave he’s keeping everything, and I can’t afford to lose everything I had and worked that's not fair to me. Not when he the one that fucked up our marriage. So I told him I would stay. then I told him that he could only have sex with the dude in our house in the guest room because I didn’t want no one to see them together.” I said “bitch are you crazy? ain't no one else getting dick down in my house but me.” Tomecca said. “that's beside the point. you have sorority sisters that work in every field you don't have to stay with him and be miserable just keep what you worked for there are other ways around that.” Joy said.

“joy but…” joy stopped me before I could finish my sentence, “answer me this do you love him? she said. “right now I don't know for sure.” I feel hurt. I feel betrayed. I feel used, led on and now blackmailed. Since I found out about this, I have stared at myself in the mirror wondering if I'm ugly, if my body is that disgusting to him that he wants man. I could even get past this if it were another woman but a man. am I that bad that I made my husband gay.” I said as I wiped my tears. “the first thing I never want you to do again is a question who you are or your beauty based on the decisions that Bryson has made. You are a queen your throne and crown does not lose value because it has no king sitting with you. Pick your head up and brush the dirt off and remember the queen that you are and that you will always be with or without a man. “joy said. The other girls agreed with her. “but that means I will have to start new.: I said, “who said there was ever anything wrong with a fresh start?” Mercedes asked.

I sat there thinking about what the girl was saying to me they were completely right. “you guys are right” I said to them they all smiled at me. “can you do me a huge favor though?” ebony asked. “what's what I said. “please go take a shower and pull yourself together.” she said looking at me. I laughed, and the girls gathered around me and hugged me. “thank you so much for checking on me guys.” I said to them “no thanks needed this is a sisterhood. we are our sister's keeper, and if she not good, we aren't good.” Tomecca said. “now please go take a shower so we can go to lunch. I a make some calls while you're in the shower and might have some good news for you.” Ebony said. I got up and went and got in the shower when I got out I wiped the fog from the bathroom mirror and looked at myself and smiled “welcome back queen.” I said to myself.  

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