Monica Part 2
It's something about knowing that you just fucked your baby sister's boyfriend in the bathroom, a damn club on some hoe shit that makes you feel sick to your stomach. "Moe this is my boyfriend Delray or Stone as his friends call him. Bae this is my big sister Monica but we call her Moe." Erica introduced. "Nice to meet you," Delray said with this smirk on his face as he extended his hand to me. I hopped out of my seat, covering my mouth brushing past his hand.
I made it to the bathroom just in time as the vomit exited my mouth into the sink. "Damn not even 24 hours out of damn jail and I've already got into some shit." I said, looking at myself in the mirror. I stared at myself in the mirror for a while as multiple questions rang in my head:
Why do I always get mixed up in the bullshit?
How am I going to tell Erica?
What am I going to do when she puts my ass out?
Why the fuck didn't she tell me she had a boyfriend?
Erica came into the bathroom to check on me, taking me from my thought but making my heart race. "you good?" she asked. "Yeah guess my body not use to the liquor." I said to her, really nervous. "Well, I need your body to get used to normal living because you are not about to use all the cheetos in the house to make jailhouse gumbo or my toilet to make yall hooch y'all be making in there." she said with a smile, trying to cheer me up. We both laughed, and I washed my hands. "Girl stop watching tv to get your jail information." I told her.
Once I was okay, we headed back out. Delray was standing at the bar, holding our spots down. When we walked up, he extended his hand back to me. I walked past him like I should have the first time he came over to me and took my seat, giving him my back. "Damn Moe rude much… baby im sorry she's not feeling to great." Erica said, trying to make excuses for my actions. "No biggie it's cool I understand when my sister Toy came home from her bid she was standoffish too." he said. I rolled my eyes as I signaled for the bartender. "A water please," I told her when she came over. "Bae I didn't know Toy had been to jail." Erica said in amazement which made me damn near snap my neck when I looked over at her; like she was crazy cause what they were about to do was bond over their criminal sisters, at least not while I was sitting here.
"How much longer do we have to stay here I'm ready to go? Im tired and don't feel good," I said. "Well I'd love to buy you ladies a drink before you leave baby." Delray said as the bartender came back over with my water. She looked confused at Delray being hugged up on Erica. She saw Delray and me earlier, and now this. She looked at them and then at me. I gave her a look, and she shook her head as she looked at Delray in disgust and walked away. I gave Delray a side-eye and then rolled my eyes as I brought the cup of water to my lips.
I could feel Erica grilling me down, probably thinking I was being so mean and rude. "Nah bae we're going to finish what we got and head out. It's Moe's first night home, so I got to take her feelings into consideration. Plus, I just want to get into my pjs and hang with my big sister and catch up." Erica said, rubbing my hand. I looked over at her and smiled. Delray nodded his head and then leaned in and whispered something into Erica's ear. A huge smile came over Erica's face.
Annoyed, I got up and walked outside. I took a deep breath of the air, then pulled a cigarette from my purse and lit it up to ease my nerves. I was halfway done smoking when I heard Erica say. "So you smoke now?" I turned and looked at her and then back at the cigarette in my hand" yeah I guess I forgot to tell you that." I said to her. "Well i'm ready when you are," she told me and then walked off. I took another pull from my cigarette and then threw it on the ground and followed Erica to the car.
"So I was thinking with tomorrow being Saturday we can go get our nails and hair done," Erica said as she drove home. "What's wrong with my hair?" I asked, touching my curly hair. "Nothing is wrong with it but I figure you'd want to be pampered and maybe try something new like a weave." Erica said. "I don't know about that." I told her. Being in jail made me accept myself without all the added beauty of makeup, weave, and other stuff. I wasn't knocking it, but I just loved the way my cocoa brown skin glowed naturally and how healthy my hair was. Makeup and stuff were all Erica, and she made it look good the way she blended everything in with her almond skin. And you would swear the 20inch bundles she had in were her's if you didn't know any better. "Listen, just trust me big sis. We're going to get you right tomorrow," Erica said.
Before I could say anything else, Trina looked back at it, came on, and Erica turned the volume up. We both rapped to the song from the touch of our lungs and threw our hands around in excitement.
The song went off, and Erica turned down the music, "damn remember how young we sang that song before. Talking about it was our jam. Not knowing what the hell we were even rapping about." I said to her, smiling. "Yeah just young and dumb. We would be in your room listening to Trina, Khia, Lil Kim… and momma would tell us we better know our school work the way we know them songs." Erica answered, and we both laughed.
As silence came over the car, I saw Erica looking over at me out of the corner of my eye. "So speaking of momma, she called me this afternoon once I got back to work, and she really wants to see you now that you're home." I instantly got upset. But tried my best not to overreact. "Nah, I'm good." I responded. "Moe, she's our mother," she told me as if I didn't know that already. "She's my egg donor." I told her. "Moe just let her see you and know that you're okay." Erica said, giving me the puppy dog eyes. I sucked my teeth because Erica knew she was my weakness. "When?" As we pulled up to the house, I asked but realized the answer to my question when I saw my mom standing at the front door.
"Really, Erica!" I said, looking at her and pointing at our mother. "Moe hear me out." she tried to explain. "What did you have to say? That you thought I was going to be drunk enough that I would talk to her?" I said, "well honestly yeah. Delray gave me the idea." she said. "Next time Delray gets an idea for my life tell him I said to go to hell cause it's a hell nah for me." I said as Erica parked.
"Moe, I just want y'all to talk that way, I don't have to be in the middle of yall." Erica said. "You know the best way not to be in the middle is to just mind your own business." I said, getting out of the car. I stormed up to the door. "Monica baby your really home." my mother said with her arms out as if I was going to hug her. "Nicole you touch me and I promise I am going back to jail tonight." I said to her, "moe'' Erica yelled from behind me. "Stop saying my name.'' I said to her as I stood at the door with my back to them, unable to put my key in the door cause my hand was shaking from anger.
"Moe, just hear her out. She's not the same person," Erica cried out. A tear rolled down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it and turned to face them; it's only a few things that I want to hear from her." I said, "anything, darling." my mom said, and I finally got a good look at her. You could tell she was clean now, but you could still also tell life had whooped her ass. "Where were you when they brought me out of that motel room in handcuffs?" I asked her, looking straight into her eyes. "Baby, I ran. I saw the cops, and I pulled off. I didn't want them to see me there and take Erica too." she answered." noted; Erica was more critical than saving me. Was Erica also the reason you didn't show to any of my court dates, answer any of my public defender's calls or messages, come see me when I was locked up, write me back, or put money on my books?" i asked. "Momma?" Erica said sadly.
"Moe I was young I thought I was doing what was right to save the daughter that needs me the most." Nicole answered. "I needed you, I was still your daughter and I need you to save me." I yelled, not caring who heard us. "I am sorry Moe." she said, crying, "that shit is about five years too late. I waited the first three years of my sentence to hear you say sorry or say anything for that matter. Then another woman came along and did something you refused to do. She loved me and mothered me despite where life had us." I said to her. "I couldn't," Nicole yelled out with her makeup running down her face from her tears. "You couldn't what? Love me? Mother me? Well, we all know that's a lie because somehow you pulled it together and figured it out to do it for Erica. It was just easier to let the system raise me." "Moe I…" I put my hand up and stopped Nicole from talking. "I don't care about anything else you got to say bedsides where my child is…"