Part 2: Diamond, Dominique and Julian

“Gisele you should have seen it. the look on Domonique's face was priceless. that skinny bitch got what she deserved” I said as I laughed. my best friend Gisele and I were enjoying a few glasses of wine and some girl talk while sitting on my couch. “diamond that's not funny she’s your sister. you could have really hurt her and affected your niece's life all because you were mad that she teased you when we all were kids. was it really that serious? I mean your life is good. you have a great job. your own house, you helped your grandma pay off her house and if you get the focus you can your talent and not revenge you can finish your book.” I looked at her like she had three heads. “Gisele who side are you on? you know the struggle of being fluffy and having a prettier, skinner sister,” I said to her.

Gisele poured another glass of wine and then sat back on the couch. “I am always on your side but when it right. yes, we are chubby girls but that not all we are. the world has become okay with us. you could see that if you opened your eyes to what's important I would never spend years investing in a situation that I know would hurt my sister and possibly destroy her family. No matter what the love I have for her is more important than that.”

I rolled my eyes as I spilled my wine. “you really think that this is all just because she teased me. No, it's more than that. she got the better life, the better clothes, the better everything, while I got treated like the ugly stepchild when I was here first.” Gisele interrupted “But diamond.” I butted back in “no let me explain so you don't think I just woke up one day damn near thirty and decided I was going to be my sister worse nightmare.” I said as I looked her in the eye.

“you know growing up a lot of people thought my family was perfect. I was a kid so I could really tell what was happening or how it made me feel it wasn’t my place. when I was two and a half my parents had their second child. sometimes I still go to my grandma house and look at the pictures of my brother that she has tucked away. my brother was so tiny my mom had only carried him for about 6 and a half months. she never even knew she was pregnant with him. But he still lived to be okay enough to come home with us.

dion and I was everyone main focus. my grandma spends most of her time at our house. she would feed me and bake for me while my mom and dad tended to Dion because he was in so many tubes and medicines. when daddy finally went back to work food because the way they distracted me and got me in one place while grandma and mommy dealt with Dion. But my brother didn’t even live to see his second birthday.” I said then taking a sip of wine.

“wow Diamond I never knew that,” Gisele said. “most people don’t Dion passed and my family went upside down you might day. my parents became divided and against each other in a way. my mom blamed herself for Dion death. she felt like how could she not know that she was pregnant. that if she would have paid attention should have carried Dion full term and he could have been here today. my dad felt like he shared no part of the blame in this that it was all my mom's fault and treated her accordingly. he spoke to her different, looked at her different, and didn’t even touch her.

after about a year life seem like it got back to normal in a way.  but there were some changes. my mom didn’t even care about our family anymore. she had a new secret lover. she would drop me off at my grandma house during the day while my dad was at work and sneaked off with her boyfriend. that was until word got back to my dad and he tracked them down together and beat the man up.

time went by and my parents stayed together. when it was time for me to start school my parents were even worried about a thing like seeing is I qualified to start school even though my birthday was late like most parents. instead, they were to busy announcing that they were having Domonique. my 5th birthday got overlooked because they were having a baby shower. and when I did finally start school neither of them showed up because they were so worried about making sure that Domonique was healthy. but my grandma was there for me. she says that's when he and her relationship and bond started to be inseparable.

there were rumors that Domonique wasn’t my dad's daughter. sometimes I think my dad even believed it a little. Domonique is light skin with Hazel eyes. Dion and I are chocolate and have dark brown eyes. every time we went to church with my grandma that mothers board would get to whispering and look at us. by the time I was ten, my parents didn’t even see me anymore. all they did was feed me fast food and drop me off at my grandma house so they could go run and do stuff for Domonique.

she got the best clothes, dance classes, everything. I just got to spend time with grandma learning how to cook and bake while they worshiped the ground Domonique walked on.” I said staring off angrily. “But look, Diamond that benefitted you, you have one of the best soul food restaurants around,” Gisele said. I smiled “ I do huh?” I said. “Diamond you can’t fault Domonique for how your parents treated you or the lack of attention they supplied you with.” Gisele said. “let be clear for a while I didn’t. Domonique was the healing child. having her brought them back together. but that didn’t help me. I failed the 4th grade because I was having issues with reading and math and my parents were so busy they never have time to try and help me. My grandma tired as much as she could be she had nothing more than a 4th-grade education herself.

then when we got a little older Domonique got to go to the suburban school with all the white kids and good teachers, while I went to the local city school. when I asked my parents why we both didn't go to the same school. they said it was nothing towards me that it was just because they could only afford to send one of us to that school and since Domonique danced and I didn't so she got to go there because they specialize in dance.  

a very a few years later my parents died in a car crash. they were rushing to get to Dominique's performance on time because when they were late she threw a fit when they were late and didn’t see her dance from beginning to end. that was the first time I could remember my parents bringing me with them to see her perform because they didn't have time to drop me off at my grandma's. my dad ended up running a red light and was hit on the driver and passenger side by oncoming traffic.

I didn't talk again for almost a year. I couldn’t understand how they died and I lived. I should have died with them. that way Dion, them and I could have been a complete family again. Domonique and I got sent to live with my grandma. Domonique got to keep going to her school because my parents had already paid for the year. while I stayed home most of my freshmen year of high school because I refused to talk. The next year Domonique joined me in public school because couldn’t afford the school she was going to.

I end up repeating the 9th grade and Domonique ended up because pushed up two grades because she was so advanced from being at that suburban school. Domonique teased and laughed at me with her cheerleader friends while they antagonized me about my weight and age or whatever else came to their childish minds. when I finally broke down and told my grandma she got on Domonique. but that didn't start her from hanging with those girls or being there when they verbally and mentally abused me. Domonique never once defended me like sisters are suppose to. so in my eyes, Dominique standing there in silence while those girls destroyed my self-esteem more and more every day spoke louder about where she stood as my sister than when she was actually verbally teasing me. Eventually, I dropped out and got my G.E.D. I never went to prom. My grandma never saw me walk graduation stage or anything all because I felt low, alone and beat down.  

Prior to today Domonique and I hadn’t spoken since I was 23. when she told me my look didn’t fit into her wedding. my grandma once again tired to correct Domonique like she did when we were kids. But I told her to forget it and not worry about it. At that moment I walked away from Domonique and our sisterhood for good. I didn't even bother coming to the wedding. A few months later I ran into Julian in a club. He was at the bar complaining about how should have never married Domonique all she does is spend his money. she doesn’t want to work or anything else. that he wished he could just escape but he could because she was pregnant. at the end of the night when he whispered in my ear that he should have married me and not her, that the first time he saw me my beauty had him so captivated; I took the opportunity and ran with it.  I took my virginity and we start our secret sex life. every day from that night, I waited for the day that she would find us together.” I said taking a long sip of wine. Gisele looked at me. “Diamond I feel you I really do but what you did was cold-hearted,” she said. I rolled my eyes.

there was a knock at the door. I looked at Gisele ‘did you order food?” I asked her because I was expecting any more guest. “No” she answered. I got up and went to answer the door. I opened the door and it was Julian. “what are you doing here?” I asked him. “diamond baby I just had to see you and talk to you. please explain to me what happened today. Explain to me Why?” he asked. “why what?” I asked Julian looking confused. “why there is no us? I risked it all for you everytime we were together. the money, my marriage, my kids. you didn’t ask me to but I did it because I wanted to because I wanted you. then you just leave me and say that there was never a us or a chance for us? that I was just some piece in this game you were playing to get even with your sister. when there was nothing to get even with? she’s not you. she doesn’t even match up to half the woman you are. She wouldn’t possibly know where to start to make me feel the way you make me feel.” he said. I stepped back from the door and looked at Julian; his hands were shaking, he wasn’t dressed as neat and presentable as he normally was and he appeared to be drunk.

“Julian nothing I did was to hurt you. I am deeply sorry that you developed feeling but she is your wife and your choice her. so for the sake of the two little girls that you have back at home, I really hope you and Domonique can get past this and work it out.” I said to him. then I step forward to close the door. Julian stuck his foot in the doorway to block the door from closing and pushed it back open with one hand while the other was behind his back.

“see Diamond it doesn’t work like that. My daughter will be fine no matter what happens to me and Domonique. all Domonique wants is the money and I am willing to give all to her to be with you.” he said. “Julian we cannot be together,” I said to him. “ I hoped you didn’t say that. I am Julian carter you don't just leave me” he said as he stepped into the house and pointed the gun at me that he was holding behind his back. I stepped further back and raised my hands. “Julian what are you doing with that,” I said scared.

Gisele came from the living room to the door the check on me. before could she turned the corner and see me she said “Diamond you good?” and she laid eyes on me and the gun pointed at me she froze in her tracks. “damn diamond what you did got into/” she said putting her hands up too. Julians looked at us “yall can put your hands down I don't want to hurt you. I love you, Diamond. I just want Diamond to be with me.” he said with his hands shaking.

Gisele looked at me “so you go and break the heart of the man that crazy about you. shaking my damn head Diamond this some shit.” she said. I stepped towards Julian “Julian baby I appreciate you for showing me how much you care. But you're scaring me. you are married to my sister,  you can’t love me. what we did was wrong and now we have to deal with the consequences of our actions. and that's what we can not be together.” I told him. “fine then if you won’t be with me there no reason for me to live.” he said as he places the gun on the bottom of his chin. “No!” Gisele and I yelled at once.

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