Part 2: Candice & Jyreese

“Beautiful what are you doing in a hell hole like this.” One of the older inmates said to me. I just sat and looked at her. “I’ve watched you sit in this cell for a month and not speak two words.” In my mind I was screaming what does  a murder say. But I know that wasn’t the right thing to say or what she was looking to hear.

The lady sat there for a little longer looking at me. Waiting for me to say something . she slapped her hands down on her lap. “okay, so be it. But I’ll be back tomorrow and the day after that. I’m a keep coming because you need a healing and healing starts by releasing what's holding you.”she told me.

As she got up to exit my cell the words pour out softly. “what do you want me to say?” Tears rolled down my face. The lady quickly turned back to me and embraced me. “Say whatever you need to baby.” She told me. But honestly I wasn’t ready yet.

I cried into her chest. I was a good girl. I didn’t deserve to be in jail. I was already broken. Now I am caged like a animal. But it was nothing I could do to cage that. So instead I told her. “I loved him. And that love landed me in here. I trusted her and she took everything I told her and used it to destroy me.”

The lady looked at me with a warm smile. “baby more than half of us are in here behind loving a man. Hell I helped my husband with selling, drugs and trafficking women. In my head he loved me because we ran business together. I kept the girl under control and he was happy as long as the money was right. It took me being in here without him in front of me and the dick distracting me to see that Me and Murray were never partners I was another one of his workers.

We all have made some crazy decisions while being crazy in love or while being controlled by the dick.” The inmate said. I smiled up at Ms.Patty her warm embrace was the most comfort I had since the day I was arrested.

After that day Ms. Patty and I spent time together everyday. One day while sitting in the yard Ms.Patty calmly asked me. “So Candice when are you going to tell me why your in here.”

I had been avoiding the question for about two months now and Ms. Patty was a old southern black lady. so in other words she was noisy and was going to keep asking.

I put my head down. “Well, ummm…. I like Reese.” I said sadly. I think I was more hurt now then when I watched the blood pour from his body. He wasn’t the best boyfriend but once upon a time we were friend and I seen so much potential in him.

“Baby who is Reese?” Ms.Patty asked moving closer to me so that our conversation could stay private. Because my silence when I first got to the jail let me notice that these women love to spread the information they heard.

I looked at Ms.Patty in her eyes. “You mean who was he? Well he was my boyfriend.” I told her. Ms.Patty nodded her head.  I looked at Ms.Patty like a kid trying to explain why they misbehaved in school. “see Ms.patty it wasn’t like I planned to kill him. I just snapped.”

Ms.Patty still said nothing she just nodded. “This how it happened six months before the incident I was ready to give up on me and him. I laid in bed and poured my heart out to him about the hurt he caused, the disrespect, the cheating I knew he did and the baby I lost. He begged me to stay. And after what was supposed to be the last time we had sex and more apologies and him pleading he was going to change I stayed.

He proposed and that gave me hope that what I had said got through to him. Things were good for about the first three months. He was coming home every night at a decent time, we were working on having another baby, we were communicating; everything was good. He was even engaged about things about the wedding. This made the love making even better.

Every day I was more and more excited. It seemed like Reese was becoming a husband. I would tell my best friend Ashley how much he had changed and how good things was going. Everyday she would be a Debbie downer tell me how to not get too head over heels because the change might not last.

By the fourth month I started to notice that a he was drifting back into the person he was. He was more into his phone then the conversations we were having. Even the wedding had been put on hold. Reese was hitting the clubs again with his boys. At night he would tuck his phone under his pillow any time we were out he put my phone faced down.

I seen the signs but I ignored them. To me it wasn’t as bad as before. But by time month six rolled around Reese was back to being the reese I knew all too well. Ashley's words rung in the back of my head. All this time I thought she was just being bitter because her and her man Marcus had broken up because he cheated on her.  But she was really just setting me up for reality.

I know I should have just left when I told him I was done. Reese didn’t cherish the women I was. Hell how was he supposed to know a real women when he never seen on before he momma was a junky and her son supplied her drug.

The night I killed him he showed me that he never loved me. I had came home from a movie date with Ashley that she had canceled at the last minute. I already had got the tickets to see fifty shades of grey so I did even without her.

When I got home the house was pitch black. Hell I figure Reese was out with his boys like always. So I climb the stairs of our home to get ready for bed.

As I got to the top of the stairs I could hear moans. As I turned the corner I could see straight into my bedroom. These idiots didn’t even close the door. I stood in the hall way and just looked. Right there in the bed me and Reese share was my man I had been struggling to get to love me. He was having sex with another women IN OUR BED. “

I caught myself and wiped the tears from my face and lower my voice back down. “I stood there frozen in pain just watching. It wasn’t until the unknown female that Reese was riding sat up and put her head on his shoulder that I she her face. ASHLEY! The anger that rushed through me unfroze me. I started to walk towards the room when I heard Reese tell Ashley I love you.

That hit me like I just got shot. I backed off and went down stairs. The sound of them making love covered the sound of me moving through the house. I went down stairs and grabbed the gun that reese kept in a safe under the couch and the bottle of remy from the kitchen. I went back up stairs and sat in the bedroom down the hall from our master bed room.

I watched them and drunk as I sat with the gun on my lap. I let them enjoy their last time.

I was like the calm before the storm. Even as I pulled the trigger I was calm. The stormed didn’t hit until the bullet hit its target. you should of let me go Ress. Is what  screamed out after I shot him. As I stood looking at Ashely all I could do was shake my head. I told her bitch you not even worth the bullet friends fuck friends over everyday. But I still punch her. She had to feel my pain some way.

Although Ashely ran out the house fearing for her life it didn’t stop her from calling the police. I was so broken that when the police arrived I was still there drinking.

“so that’s why I’m here Ms.Patty I’m a murder.” Ms.Patty looked at me with the same eyes she had the first time we hugged. “No baby you are here because you loved hard and love hurt you.”

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