Part 1: Fatima and Calvin

As I laid in bed staring at the ceiling my phone rung. It was my sister Rachel. Racheal was your normal static baby momma. She had four kids and three different baby daddies. She had each baby daddy name tattooed on her and a story of how much she used to be so in love with them. She lived the ghetto fabulous lifestyle. Between Child support, $700 in food stamps, tax money and government assistance paying her rent and bills she wanted for nothing and stayed in the club every weekend. While I went above and beyond to support just my one with no help from the government. But I am not complaining because my little princess was well taken care of. 
“Hey, sis. How are you? Whats up?” I answered the phone. “Nothing I need a favor though Fatima.” She said. “Don’t you always,” I mumbled. “I need you to take me downtown to bail Todd out. Oh yeah… Umm, can I borrow $200 to bail him out too.” She asked. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it. “ A Racheal why would I give you money to bail out your baby daddy who you are no longer with? B what happens to ask how I was or your niece for that matter before asking for favors damn. C didn't you just get your tax money? what happened to that and the car you were supposed to be getting." I said to her. "I took money out to get my hair done and go to the migos concert and then gave Todd the rest of money because he said he was going to flip it like he did last year. But he got caught with the pack on him that he use the money to get," she said. "Racheal, are you fucking serious what about my nieces and nephews? you got all that money and did nothing for them,"I said to her feeling angry. we grew up in the same home and had two totally different points of view on how to raise our children. "Fatima doesn't try to judge me, my kids are good. I got them," she said with an attitude. "Well, I guess you going to figure out how you got Todd to because I can’t today. Calvin is coming to get Egypt so I need to make sure her hair is done and she is fully ready because she been talking about going with her daddy since he called and told her.” I told her. 
“Okay well, I can find another ride. Can I at least borrow the $200 I know you got it Calvin has a good business so I know you getting a good amount of child support.” She said “I don't have $200 to give you. I don’t get child support I didn’t want to be one of those baby mother’s. everything I do is for Egypt, and I do it with my own hard earn money and Calvin does what he does for her.” I told her.
“girl your crazy he cheated on you while you were pregnant. Then again while you guys were engaged. You deserve some support. He owes you at least that much.” Racheal said. “ Nah see that were you got it wrong, Calvin doesn’t owe me anything. The only thing I want from him is for him to be a great father to our daughter because she adores him and I don’t want her to grow up like us with no father in her life and an empty spot in her heart where he should have been.” I said. 
“be a good father shit ain't this the first time in months he’s come to get my niece. Sis don’t be stupid. Racheal laughed. “listen I’ll handle my baby daddy. You should figure out how you going to get yours out of jail.’ I said as I hung up with an attitude. 
My room door opened and in came my sunshine. “hi mommy ’s baby” I said as she climbed into my bed and cuddle up next me silently. I picked up my phone and text Calvin. I’ll have Egypt ready by noon she excited to go with you so please don't let her down. I put my phone on my nightstand and looked at my beautiful chocolate baby laying next to me. although it pissed me off Racheal was right. this was the first time in months my baby was going to see her dad, and there was nothing holding him back from her. he wasn't in jail. I didn't hold Egypt hostage because Calvin didn't want to be with me. It was all just based on his own wants and free will. 
My baby was so innocent and it burned me up inside to know that the most important man in her life was missing so much of it. I laid there looking at her and think my mom always told me there was no anger like what you would display or feel when it comes to her child. That was no lie, when it comes to Egypt I would move heaven, hell, and earth for her and kill anyone that stood in the way of my baby having the best of the things she needs. To bad the person I want to kill the most over her is the same person that helped me make her. 
Calvin and I were high school sweethearts. We grew up in the same neighborhood, same church and went to the same school. When we started dating it didn’t come as a shock to our families. Calvin’s mother even said she prayed we would end up together. sometimes I wish that pray wouldn’t have gone any higher than the ceiling but then again that would mean I wouldn’t have my daughter. 
Calvin was my knight in shining armor. He was a bad boy but so sweet and innocent in front of my strict God-fearing mother. Before I and he started dating all I could do was go to church, school, and home. But when Calvin was in the picture she let me go anywhere with him. I had my first drink with him. I smoked weed for the first time with him . he taught me everything I knew about sex. I loved everything about him. 
I was Calvin’s biggest fan. When he played football there wasn’t a game that I didn’t attend. When he tore his ACL when we were running out of a house party because they were shooting; I was there by his side showing him the good in a bad situation and praying for him. But something change when the NFL wasn’t an option anymore and the college scholarships started to decreased, But we pushed forward, and when Calvin opened his first business as a finical advisor I was there as his number one fan. 
After eight years of being together, we announced the arrival of Egypt and things were never the same again. My pregnancy was nothing like I imagined. The love of my life became a complete stranger. And the further I got with my pregnancy the more Calvin and I grew apart.
Calvin started to cheat on me and it killed me when I found out. One of his girls went out her way to break the news to me outside of my mother's church one Sunday. she had back nothing when she told me she had been sleeping with my man in our home. I lost my mind and was sent into early labor. Egypt was born at seven months and her father wasn’t even there to experience it. But he was there shortly after and when the doctors put her in his hands, the look in his eyes was enough to give me hope that things could and would change. 
That day he promised that he would return to the man I once knew, and once fell in love with. By time Egypt was five months, Calvin had proposed to me. I thought my life was going to be perfect. But I was so wrong because before my baby could turn one Calvin was back to cheating. He said it was due to the lack of sex I was giving him but I knew It was that Calvin did not love me anymore. But what could I expect he knew nothing about me or how I felt. I spent all day at work, came home to be a mother to our daughter on top of being his cook and maid. By the time I made it to the bedroom I was tired.
Not to mention my snapback didn’t happen like Beyoncé's. My once 120-pound frame hadn’t come back and that was hard to face. I had stretch marks in places I didn’t even know could get stretch marks. It was like I had a completely new body and I wasn't use to it or secure it at all. But all I wanted was for my man to tell me that he still loved me, still seen me as an attractive woman and most of all that I was beautiful after pushing out his baby. 
But I guess it was easier for him to venture into a new home then to make improvements to his own home. But even with his cheating I dealt with it and stayed like most women do because my little girl deserved to have mommy and daddy both in one home. No matter if I felt like I was risking being loved and truly. For my baby, it was worth it. I never wanted her to feel like mommy or daddy didn’t love her.
after months of arguing over money, Calvin coming in at any time, and him making his family the last thing on his to-do list; he decided to call it quits and instead of fighting with him; I called the wedding off and freed him. because as much as it hurt I knew I couldn't keep him when he clearly didn't want to be kept; that would be too much of a toxic situation for my daughter to have to see. 
I dozed off and eventually Egypt woke me up "mommy is my daddy coming today?" I round over and looked at my phone. there was no text back from Calvin but I was going to tell my baby that. "He said he was a mama. so we got to get ready." I told her. "mommy you coming with me and daddy too." she asked me. "no baby this is just going to be you and daddy today." Egypt started to cry "but I want you both." I put her in my arms. "you will always have us both. But today daddy wants you all to himself because mommy has had so much time with you. So let do your hair in you Minnie mouse puffs and put on your favorite dress so you can look pretty for daddy." I told her.
Egypt ran out my room and down to hers. I picked up my phone and called Calvin but got his voicemail. "Calvin I texted you this morning don't forget you promised Egypt I don't leave her hanging man." I left on his voicemail and put my phone down and went and joined my princess in her room to get her ready for her date. 
noon rolled around and there was no sign of Calvin. "mommy where is my daddy" she asked me. I picked up my phone and called him. "Calvin where are you? If you let her down today you will force me to become the bitch I don't want to be. and I will go downtown and file for sole custody and child support." I said on his voicemail when he didn't answer. 
By 2 pm Egypt was growing restless and fighting her sleep waiting for him because a nap wasn't as important as seeing her daddy. Mad was an understatement to what I was. When I finally got Eypgt to take a nap I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. The pain this man was causing my daughter and there was nothing I could do.

As I pulled myself together I heard the phone ring I rushed out the bathroom and answered the phone without looking at the calling ID. ”Calvin where the fuck are you? You don't make a promise to Egypt and don't keep it. ” I yelled. ”A. little girl watch your mouth I raised you better than that.” the voice said. I pulled the phone away and seen my mothers number. ”mama I'm sorry I'm just so mad. Mom this man has had my baby waiting hours for him to come. Like I try so hard to co-parent with him and its always something.” I screamed and vented for a while my mother never interrupted. When I was done she said in her calm voice ”okay Fatima so what are you going to do now? That baby needs you now more than ever so you cant lose focus because that boy is falling short. There will be a price he has to pay for that.” ”but momma...” I said while sniffing and crying. ”no but... Because a mom doesn’t come with those options. You have to be the best mom you can. So what he didn't show up. That fine he's missing out. You and that baby go enjoy that day don't let her sit and get used to disappointment .” my mother told me. We told each other I love you and ended our car.

When Egypt woke up she went to the living room window and looked out. The sadness on her face killed me. I grabbed my purse ”mama lets go get our nails done.” I said. Her face lite up and she raced to put on her shoes. We got our nails done did some shopping and then to see sing. The questions on when her daddy was coming stopped.

Eventually, Egypt crashed and took her home and tucked her in for the night. Then I laid on the couch. As I got comfortable there was a knock at the door. I looked at the clock on the cable it said 10:30 pm. I went to the door and looked through the peephole. I stepped back and rolled my eyes as I opened the door.

“What do you want Calvin?” I said standing with an attitude. “Damn! Hi.. how are you?” He said. “How about how is your daughter you had to wait for you all day that's a good question.” I barked at him with my hands on my hips. “Fatima I didn’t come here for all that.” He said as he brushes past me into the house. I looked at this stranger I once knew.

I followed Calvin into my kitchen as he grabbed a water. “So whats the excuse this time?” I asked. He looked at me and smirked. “Damn you look good when you're mad.” He said. In my head, all I could think was this fool couldn't be serious. “Calvin, do you know how much you hurt our daughter today? “ I asked him. Calvin walked up to me “she was with you she was good, is she sleep?” “Yes, she is in bed,” I said.

Calvin grabbed my hand then “let's go to your room.” “Calvin are you serious right now?” I asked. Fatima, I missed you. “ he said as he pushed me against the wall and tried to unbutton my pants. “Calvin I am trying to talk to you and you're trying to have sex,” I said to him. “Fatima you're my baby momma its okay if we have sex every now and again.” He answered back. I pushed him. ”get off of me your ass is out your mind.” Calvin grabbed me in a way he had never done before. ”you going to give me some.” I said with anger in his eye. ”so you going to take it right here in the kitchen with our daughter down the hall.” I said to him.

Calvin looked at me and then let me go. ”fuck it go get my daughter then so we can go. He commanded. ”hell no my daughter isn't going nowhere with you tonight. You should have been here when she was waiting and crying for you. You're not about to take her now just to bring her back in the morning. That's not spending time with her. ” I said to him.

”fuck it then I'm out, ” he said with an attitude. ”Calvin if you walk out of here without us coming up with a way to properly co-parent. That will be your exit out of her life too.” Calvin looked at me. ”your such a bitter bitch. Your just mad because I don't want to be with you. So you going to fuck up my relationship with my daughter.” I interrupted him quick ” I can't fuck up something you don't have with her. You did that single-handedly.” Calvin walked towards to door. ”fuck you, Fatima.” he yelled. ”see you in court Calvin” I said with a smile as he slammed my front door

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