Part 1: Dayvonna

“ I am Dayvonna an I am a force to be reckoned with. I am educated, funny, and beautiful. I love myself and everything about me. I am thick, not fat so make sure you address me as such. Every curve, every roll, every stretch mark has a story that molded me into the phenomenal woman I am. Despite what color my skin is and the number the scale might say. I am fierce and incredible.” Day after day, the morning after morning I recited those words to myself. I had made those word a lifestyle for me. I made it through high school because of those words, a bad break up because of those words, and even built a successful business from the ground up off of those words.

   those words were like my vision of the pledge of allegiance. I stood by those words if nothing else and because of that as a  black curvy woman I had been on the curve of magazines, released a book on being a successful woman and literally made money in my sleep. Being 250 pounds didn’t stop me from being bold, confident, and damn near a legend.

but don't get me wrong . I had flaw just like everyone else. I just learned to live with mine. after my last break up. I realized that maybe I just was not the relationship type.  So instead of dwelling on that and the heartache, Aaron left me with I poured myself more into my business and opened and restaurant. and when I was ready I went back out into the playfield. But instead of tying myself down to one person. I got with Cameron, Allen, and Bria and had sex with whichever one my body wanted at that given moment.  

Bria and I had been in our situation for the longest. we had both taken a break from each other when we found boyfriends but when we were single or they pissed up off it was nothing for us to come together and do what we do. Bria was actually my first sexual encounter. We met senior year of high school and back then I was the furthest from being interested in any man.

see my dad raised me as a single father. and the one thing he made sure I was aware of was that he was not happy about having a chunky daughter no matter how much the doctors told him I was healthy. he would put me on diet and feed me different food then what the rest of the family was eating. he would make me get up early in the morning and workout before school and even after. he was worse than how the people treated me at school. So when I was of age I wanted nothing to do with no man because there was a chance that he could look at me the same way my father did.

   Bria and I were both on the track and field team and that how we were able to meet. I did shot put and she did pole vault. when she asked me to be her friend I thought it was some type of joke. Bria was skinny and in shape and fit right in with the popular girls, while I was the outcast of the butt of most of their jokes. But Bria’s friendship offer was real. We started hanging out and became really good friends. Being her friend even made my life at home better. because of her, I was able to get my dad off my back. whenever he wanted to try and force me to work out I simply told him I either already had or already had a work out planned with Bria.

   One night I stayed the night at Bria’s house so her mom could drop us off at our track meet the next day. we had laughed and done our girl talk until I at least started getting tired. I went took a shower and got ready for bed. While Bria was doing the same thing after me I ended up dozing off. in the middle of my sleep, I jumped up embarrassed thinking I had either peed on myself or my period had come way too early because I felt a wetness between my legs.

   when I looked down there Bria was between my legs with her mouth on my vagina. I tried to stop her and she sat up. “I am hurting you?” she asked. I shook my head no. she smirks “okay then let me finish, I promise you’ll like it,” she said. I was hesitant at first but Bria kissed me and then on my neck, she rubbed on my breast and then my between my legs until I was comfortable. When she finally finished with me and I came I was definitely able to agree with her that I liked it.

Time went on and we kept doing what we were doing it was nothing set in stone that we were girlfriends or anything. We were just friends having fun. Eventually, we parted way and both went off to college I got a boyfriend while away at school and so did she. I even lost my virginity but that didn't stop us from getting together when we were home on breaks.

Aaron was my college boyfriend and we were together for years before I found out he was cheating on me. When I and he broke up I got under Cameron. I figured what better way to get over a nigga that fucked you over than to get under another. Cameron was this sweet security guard that worked at my job. He always showed extra interest in me he’d walk me out to my car to make sure I was safe, give me compliments on how I looked everyday and made it his business to come by my office and check on me.

So I figured why not give this nigga some pussy, he been working hard for it. fucking Cameron was far from a disappointment that dick was chocolatey and thick just like snickers and baby boy had stamina. And it only got better because he was a muscular dude do he bench pressed my weight for fun. So the first time he picked me up and pinned me against the wall in my office and fucked me I was in heaven.

When I wasn't fucking Cameron at work there was Allen. Allen was the hood nigga I knew I had no business being with. But he was younger then I and we had fun. Not to mention when he was hitting from the back and he spread my ass cheeks apart there was this spot that he hit. Allen uses to hang on my block with his crew selling weed. When I would walk from the store home they would laugh and make jokes about me not know I made more money then they mama got for them in that led check settlement.

One night after coming home from being out with Bria he was outside alone and stopped me. We sat on my porch and talked for a while. He apologizes for the rude comments and jokes and I moved past it because nothing they said truly bothered me. We exchanged number and continued to get to know each other which eventually lead to us fucking. After that when I walked down the street and his little friend made jokes it was my inside joke that “I'm fat but your homie like it though.”

I know it might seem like the worse thing in the world that I am willing having sex with three people but I was having fun. I made sure I got tested, that we practice safe sex and if mistakes happen I took the plan b pill. They all knew I wasn't looking for any type of relationship or commitment. But they didn't know about each other. What I had with them was strictly about getting my nut. The guys were okay with it, Bria was the one always screaming she loved me.

“Yo Day you coming back to bed?” Allen yelled from my bedroom. Truth be told I was reciting my daily pledge to myself while waiting for the results of this pregnancy test. It had been 2 months since my last period and every morning I woke up feeling like I had to throw up. I screamed out “I'm coming.” Then I picked up the test. “Shut its positive” I whispered to myself. What the fuck had I done? How am I going to tell them? Who the hell was the father? Was I really ready to be a kid into this world? My mind started overloading with thoughts. Three degrees, a successful business, and brand and I were careless enough to let this happen.

I stuffed the pregnancy test in the trash can and washed my hands. I came out the bathroom and walked into my bedroom. “damn I thought you had fallen in or something and needed me to come to save you.” Allen said when I came into the room. I laughed as I stood in the mirror “Nah I’m good I’m about to get ready for work though. you going out the back door like you normally do, so your homies don't see you?” I told him. “yeah I’m a pee and the get up out of here. the block probably not right now.” Allen said.

I nodded my head at him and said “Alexa play Jill Scott Hate on me hater.” then I sat on the bed and started my normal routine, I lotioned up and then headed over my closet to find something to wear. as I stood in the closet I heard the bathroom door open and then I waited to hear the back door close like normal. Instead, I hear. “dayvonna what the fuck is this?” I spun around and looked at Allen. “what are you doing with that? are you going through my trash now? I asked him. “Day cut the shit. are you pregnant? “ he asked me. I stood there silent looking at him. “are you?” he yelled. “lower your tone in my damn house before the neighbors hear you.” I said to him. “then fucking answer me.” Allen demanded. “yeah I guess.” I said to him. “you guess?” he yelling. “yeah I guess. clearly, you see that damn stick I peed on because you're holding it in your hand.” I said to him. “is it mine?” he asked. “I don’t know”I whisper. “how you don’t know Dayvonna? Who else are you fucking?” he yelled. “I been fucking you and a guy I work with,” I said with my head down.

Allen threw the pregnancy test at me “you're a nasty bitch. that's why you were talking about you didn’t want no relationship because you out here being a hoe.” he said “really! Am I a hoe? your scary ass doesn’t even want your friends to see you leaving my house but you in here throwing shit like a bitch.” I said as I pushed passed him.   “man fucks you. don't hit my line no more you fat bitch.” he said as he stormed his way to the door.

Later that day I sat in my office thinking how the hell was I supposed to bring a baby into this world and I don’t even know who the father is. As fucked up as my dad was to me growing up I was still grateful that I have him and knew who he was. As I sat at my desk there was a knock at the door and then Cameron peeked his head in. “Got time for a quick,” he said smiling. “Nah not today,” I said to him. Cameron must have felt in my voice that something was wrong so he opened the door further and came in. “You good?” he asked. “yes and no.” I told him.  “what wrong are you sick?” he asked me. I looked at him and said “something like that.” and shrugged my shoulders. “want me to go to the seven eleven down the street and get you some ginger ale and soup?” Cameron asked. “Do soup and ginger ale fix being pregnant?” I said looking at him.

Cameron walked up to me and hugged me “we having a baby?” I looked at him sideways. I was really expecting him to flip out on me the way that Allen did. “you happy about this?” I asked him. “hell yeah, I always wanted a little mini-me running and I really like you Day even though you don’t like talking about relationships I would be so happy for you to be my woman and the mother of my child.” he said. “Well…. Before you get too excited I got something to tell you.” I said to him. “whatever it is it really doesn’t matter because we are having a baby.” he said cheesing from hearing to hear. I got to tell my mom and my family. do you want to tell both families at once?” Cameron was so happy and asking so many questions that I just blurted out “I’m not sure if the baby is yours.”  I said to him. Cameron paused for a moment and then said: “Do you want to be with me and raise that child with a mother and father in the home?” I looked at him. “I guess.” I told him “Okay then so that doesn’t matter we can make this work.” he said as he kissed me on the forehead. I didn't say anything I just looked down.

Cameron walked towards the door and said I will be waiting for you when you get off so I can walk you to your car and we can talk about doctors appointments and etc. I just nodded my head. I could dare let Cameron raise a baby that possibly wasn’t his he was too good of a man for that. I picked up my phone and googled a number and then dialed it. “Thank you for calling plan parenthood. My name is Tina how can I help you today?” the girl said. “Hi, I need to get information and schedule an abortion.”

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